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thegypsy_aq
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Name: nina.
Birthday: 5/8/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: ruining my teeth, chainsmoking, typewriting.
Expertise: bad decisions.
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/23/2003
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| total life overhaul.
and i feel pretty optimistic about it. worried a little bit, but only in the ways i should be, i think.
again, the only person i have to live with the rest of my life is myself.
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| on eleventh street, on our way home from lunch, we found a little bird with a busted up wing. and you know, john isn't so bad sometimes, just as i was having thoughts of how to convince him to let me take it home and nurse it back to health he asked me "how are we going to get him back to the apartment?". and then that little guy just flew away. good luck to him.
dude, i just want to be snow white. hang out on my farm and sing songs to all the creatures and feed deers from the palm of my hand etc etc etc.
i don't know how much longer i can deal with the city or my feelings of just waiting for shit to go so wrong.
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| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzFKTsdDoxQ
i stayed up all night and i cried like always and i drank beers like always and today i sort of slept when i got home but not especially much.
seeing juliana and fred was great and i gave a guy ten dollars on my way home hoping karma will deal me a good hand next time around.
and now it's just beers again because i don't feel like i'll be able to sleep if i don't.
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| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXmTvbw4kLw
i found a fox caught by dogs / he let me take him in my hands / his little heart, it beats so fast / and i'm ashamed of running away / from nothing real / i just can't deal with this / but i'm still afraid to be this.
among your hounds of love / and feel your arms surrounding me / i've always been a coward / i never know what's good for me.
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| i just feel so sad and upset sometimes. i don't think it's fair for him to make me feel stupid because i'm feeling the feelings that 22 year old human females are supposed to feel. evolution isn't telling me to get a facebook, evolution is telling me to want to have a baby (or at least start thinking about wanting a baby in the future). it feels just as instinctive to THINK about it as it does to feel hungry. that's how humans are wired, i suppose.
like when i was younger i said i never wanted children and every adult ever told me "WELL JUST WAIT ON THAT ONE!". it's true! and it sucks.
and i don't know why it's so offensive to even try and talk to him about it. i'm not telling him i want to have a baby now. i'm not saying "let's get pregnant!". i'm just trying to bring up the subject of one day, IN THE FUTURE, when we have REAL jobs and fucking health insurance and etc etc etc (because i hope these things can be accomplished before my lady parts shut down...) if it would even be an option for him.
i can't help the way i truly, truly feel.
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